nikaalexandra:

anyone who says cats are the only assholes has clearly never owned a dog

(via lokilordofdickery)

analcresta:

whatisthecat:

ninthdoctorsbutt:

jethrocane:

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THIS STUFF
I BOUGHT IT
MONTHS AGO
TRIED IT ONCE
I THOUGHT IT WAS HORRIBLE
IT WAS STICKY AND CEMENTED MY LIPS TOGETHER
IT GOT ON EVERYTHING 
IT DIDN’T SUPER-STAY
I THREW IT INTO MY DRAWER WITHOUT ANOTHER THOUGHT
AND THEN OUT OF THE BLUE I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN
HOPE IN MY HEART, PEACE IN MY SOUL, I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN
I READ THE DIRECTIONS
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, I SAW THE LIGHT
I COULD SEE CLEARLY NOW, THE RAIN WAS GONE
TURNS OUT
YOU HAVE TO PUT THE RED STUFF ON FIRST
WAIT FOR IT TO DRY
COMPLETELY (I MISSED THIS STEP BEFORE)
IT SHOULD BE SO DRY AND IF YOU KISS THE BACK OF YOUR HAND, NO MARK SHOULD SHOW
AND THEN I PUT THE BALM ON (I ORIGINALLY TRIED PUTTING THE BALM ON FIRST…. DON’T DO THAT.)
AND IT GOT RID OF ALL THE STICKINESS
AND THE RED DOESN’T EVEN GET ALL UP IN THE WHITE BALM
IT WAS A MIRACLE 
THIS STUFF IS THE FUCKING BEST
IT STAYS ON FOR A REALLY LONG TIME
IT DOESN’T GET ON ANYTHING
AMAZING I WANT TO BUY THIS IN FORTY SHADES OKAY I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO TRY IT

NO BUT DO KEEP IN MIND THAT IT REALLY DOES STAY ON FOR A VERY VERY LONG TIME
AS IN, LONG ENOUGH TO FORCE YOU TO SCRUB IT OFF AT THE END OF THE DAY
THIS STUFF ISN’T FOR THE WEAK, THIS IS FOR THE POWERFUL BADASSES WHO WASH THE BLOOD OF THEIR ENEMIES OUT OF THEIR CLOTHES AT THE END OF THE DAY LIKE ITS NOTHING

YO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THAT THING
THAT IS A DREAM COME TRUE BUT ALSO A NIGHTMARE LIKE
THIS IS ME JUST BEFORE WENT OUT THE WHOLE DAY

HELL YEAH I FELT HELLA CUTE AND POWERFUL RIGHT THIS IS THE POWER RED LIPSTICK HAS ON ME
WELL LATER I RETURN HOME AND CHANGE GLASSES AND WOWIE IT’S STILL THERE AWESOME

THEN JUST FOR SCIENCE I DECIDED TO SLEEP WITH IT OKAY
I WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY LIKE THIS

AND THEN AGAIN FOR SCIENCE, I DIDN’T RUB IT OFF AT THE SHOWER JUST TO SEE IF IT WAS WATERPROOF TOO AND

I DON’T KNOW HOW LONG WOULD THAT HAVE LASTED IF I DIDN’T TAKE IT OFF AFTER THAT PHOTO BUT LET ME TELL YOU THIS MUST BE MADE OF THE BLOOD OF OUR ENEMIES I ACCEPT NO OTHER EXPLANATION

I HAVE THIS IT WORKS MAN IT WORKS

analcresta:

whatisthecat:

ninthdoctorsbutt:

jethrocane:

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THIS STUFF

I BOUGHT IT

MONTHS AGO

TRIED IT ONCE

I THOUGHT IT WAS HORRIBLE

IT WAS STICKY AND CEMENTED MY LIPS TOGETHER

IT GOT ON EVERYTHING 

IT DIDN’T SUPER-STAY

I THREW IT INTO MY DRAWER WITHOUT ANOTHER THOUGHT

AND THEN OUT OF THE BLUE I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN

HOPE IN MY HEART, PEACE IN MY SOUL, I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN

I READ THE DIRECTIONS

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, I SAW THE LIGHT

I COULD SEE CLEARLY NOW, THE RAIN WAS GONE

TURNS OUT

YOU HAVE TO PUT THE RED STUFF ON FIRST

WAIT FOR IT TO DRY

COMPLETELY (I MISSED THIS STEP BEFORE)

IT SHOULD BE SO DRY AND IF YOU KISS THE BACK OF YOUR HAND, NO MARK SHOULD SHOW

AND THEN I PUT THE BALM ON (I ORIGINALLY TRIED PUTTING THE BALM ON FIRST…. DON’T DO THAT.)

AND IT GOT RID OF ALL THE STICKINESS

AND THE RED DOESN’T EVEN GET ALL UP IN THE WHITE BALM

IT WAS A MIRACLE 

THIS STUFF IS THE FUCKING BEST

IT STAYS ON FOR A REALLY LONG TIME

IT DOESN’T GET ON ANYTHING

AMAZING I WANT TO BUY THIS IN FORTY SHADES OKAY I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO TRY IT

NO BUT DO KEEP IN MIND THAT IT REALLY DOES STAY ON FOR A VERY VERY LONG TIME

AS IN, LONG ENOUGH TO FORCE YOU TO SCRUB IT OFF AT THE END OF THE DAY

THIS STUFF ISN’T FOR THE WEAK, THIS IS FOR THE POWERFUL BADASSES WHO WASH THE BLOOD OF THEIR ENEMIES OUT OF THEIR CLOTHES AT THE END OF THE DAY LIKE ITS NOTHING

YO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THAT THING

THAT IS A DREAM COME TRUE BUT ALSO A NIGHTMARE LIKE

THIS IS ME JUST BEFORE WENT OUT THE WHOLE DAY

HELL YEAH I FELT HELLA CUTE AND POWERFUL RIGHT THIS IS THE POWER RED LIPSTICK HAS ON ME

WELL LATER I RETURN HOME AND CHANGE GLASSES AND WOWIE IT’S STILL THERE AWESOME

THEN JUST FOR SCIENCE I DECIDED TO SLEEP WITH IT OKAY

I WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY LIKE THIS

AND THEN AGAIN FOR SCIENCE, I DIDN’T RUB IT OFF AT THE SHOWER JUST TO SEE IF IT WAS WATERPROOF TOO AND

I DON’T KNOW HOW LONG WOULD THAT HAVE LASTED IF I DIDN’T TAKE IT OFF AFTER THAT PHOTO BUT LET ME TELL YOU THIS MUST BE MADE OF THE BLOOD OF OUR ENEMIES I ACCEPT NO OTHER EXPLANATION

I HAVE THIS IT WORKS MAN IT WORKS

(via lokilordofdickery)

giddytf2:

lumpofbird:

Really loving this new camera.

Lumpity floompity floompf.

(via doktorslytha)

alwaysactually:

lusilly:

some muggleborn like “i want to be an astronaut when i grow up!”

wizard kids like “wtf is an astronaut”

"oh you know…the people who go to the moon"

(via lokilordofdickery)

scottish:

hearin a really shitty pun
image

makin a really shitty pun
image

(via lokilordofdickery)

burntlikethesun:

endless list of favourite characters: martha jones

"I spent a lot of time with you thinking I was second best, but you know what? I am good."

(via doctorwho)

(via sno-cone)

gettibucket:

dennys:

normcore-dad:

dennys:

welcome to dencon. on your birthday you get an extra hour in the pit.

I don’t know how much Denny’s pays their social media team but however much it is, it’s not enough

$17000

This is the kind of social media I wish I was doing. 

(via lokilordofdickery)